Don't Be Jealous!!

You will not believe what I got to do tonight here at the house.

Debby and I were on our way home from delivering our old dryer to the Young Women's garage sale site when she popped the big question: "Do you think you could pull my hair through the cap when we get home?" Well, as you can imagine, I was all a-quiver with excitement at just the thought of this experience, as it only comes around a couple of times a year.

So this is how it went; We met in the den. She came in with her hair cap on, (you know, the plastic one with all of the little circles on it with the little holes inside the circles where you jab an embroidery hook in it and twist around until you find a clump of hair and "gently" pull it out through the hole), and me with my shoes off and my pants half unbuttoned for comfort, sitting in a chair with Debby sitting on the floor between my legs. Methodically, I began the task, and since I'm the guy who gets regularly accused of being anal retentive, I naturally chose to proceed in neat horizontal rows, like a typewriter. I poked into each little hole from left to right until I reached the seam of the cap, then came back to the left seam and repeated the process down the back of her head, until I had what looked almost like a full 6" wide mo-hawk. I was pretty proud of myself at this point, because usually by this time Debby would be half in tears or at least have a fairly strong stink face on; claiming I was trying to poke a hole in her head. Well I guess she finally couldn't take it any more because she felt the need to "demonstrate" and explain that I should be pushing the embroidery hook in at an "angle", to go on the "side" of the scalp instead of straight in. DUH!!!!! (Or my all time favorite, DOY!!!!!)

I said that I WAS going in at an angle and she wiped her tears and was fairly quiet until the process was complete. (I don't know if she was controlling herself by practicing some sort of zen thing or if she just went to her quiet place.) Anyway, Debby reached up to feel if she thought it was indeed good enough to stop the torture, and fortunately for both of us, it was.

So as she stood up to go put a bunch of goop on the hair that was poking out, I glanced to see the beautiful job I had done and the hair sticking out reminded me of one of those hairy little dogs that always yap at everything, I don't know what they are called, but her hair looked like one of those dogs. My mental picture of that poor little pup showed a wide eyed, wild haired, in shock looking stare. Quiet, somehow knowing he or she just barely missed being electrocuted from chewing on the extension cord under the Christmas tree.

Anyway, off Debby went and applied the stuff to make her hair whatever color she chose, then an hour later into the shower to rinse off. When she came out I made the usual mistake of asking how it turned out, to which I was informed, " I don't know yet, I'll have to wait until in the morning."

I don't know if she's telling the truth about that, or if shes still stuck in her quiet place and doesn't want to come out.

Those Flippin Weeds

This afternoon, it was me against the weeds. Again!!

I guess it's because of all of the rain we received in January, but we have a butt load of weeds this year. Two weeks ago I sprayed all of the weeds. Then last week I sprayed all of the weeds, again. In most of the spots it looked like there was some positive effect, but then in other areas it looked like I had sprayed weed fertilizer on them, because there were some big bunches of the weeds that were just "waving in the air", and "smilin" at me every time I'd look at them.

So, to wipe the smile off of those stinkin weeds faces that were so friendly, I went out and pulled them all up. Their smiles went away, along with their scrawny long green necks and if it hadn't been for their sticker friends that poked the crap out of my hands, I would have had the last laugh.

I hope they all at least got to laugh themselves to death after I threw them into the trash can and closed the dark stinky lid.

Oh yea, after that, I went out to the front yard and mowed all of their little cousins heads off; and I smiled.